PreOp Meeting with Surgeon

So, Friday was one FULL day.
I called in sick to work - well, I didn't feel good, but I probably could have made it in, if I didn't have something better to do.

Terry had a 9:30 appointment with surgeon. We had a conversation with the lady in charge of the patient progression database (I asked lots of questions about the quality of their security - she was quite surprised - I guess nobody everybody ever asks? How bizarre.) Then we talked to the surgical resident.
She indicates that she will be totally in charge of Terry's care - that she will do most of the surgery, and will be responsible for T's care. I was like, wait a minute. We came here for this big-shot surgeon. Well, he'll check in when he's aroud. Oh, good. Senior surgeon came in, inidicated he didn't get what my problem was, his assistant is as good as most general thoracic surgeons out there, he believes. How do you get someone to see that if we were interested in mediocre, we wouldn't be at a big name institution?

We talked with the nurse about pre-op preparations. She kept saying that I would probably be able to stay with Terry after surgery. I kept saying that I wasn't going to leave him; she'd say well, probably, and I say no - I AM NOT LEAVING HIM. She said, she'll put it in the notes. I asked who did I talk to - I am not leaving him. She said well - I said no. Dropped it. Went over cutting down diet, and getting digestive system clean.

I don't trust floor nurses. Have had some bad experiences, and fear that they will not be present for him. Understaffing is a problem. I probably wouldn't have gotten so tense, if they hadn't kept talking about how good their nurses are - in my opinion, they're protesting too much. The chemo nurses were wonderful, though, but the dr's nurse practitioners were mixed (Leah sucked, Heidi was ok, if limited, and was willing to give us less-than optimal (her own admission)). So, my job is to insist on optimal.
I have to not be too shrewish until the situation calls for it - that'll be hard, because I want to scream at them - HE'S IMPORTANT TO ME. YOU GIVE HIM YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST EVERY SECOND, OR I WILL SLAP YOU. I suspect that this is not the best way to get what I need.

So, getting out of the future - I could be wrong, it would be really good to not have my expectations met.

Went on to get pre-op chest x-ray, EKG, blood work. T drove me through a Burger King drive-through, and I had a chicken sandwich. I felt guilty because he couldn't eat, and I was STARVING.
Then a pre-op barium swallow. I sat in the waiting room, and got chatting with some other spouses (these were, oddly enough, male). It was the day after the soldier shot all those other soldiers at Ft Hood, and the guy in Orlando was shooting people at his old job. We all kind of agreed that America isn't a very nice country today, and we put too much stress on each other. That corporations are soulless and amoral, and not a source of good for hardly anyone.

I didn't sleep last night, except for maybe 2 hrs - So scared.
So today, we all went to meetings. I fell asleep in the car for a few minutes on the way home. I feel better. I can do this.

I thought this blog would be both of us - instead, it's turning out to be psycho spouse's view.
Oh well.